A Bend In the Road

Some people never know what they "want" to be...Not me. I KNEW I wanted to be a teacher since I was a little kid. When I was in the 8th grade, I KNEW I wanted to be an 8th grade English teacher. Everything I did was in preparation for that goal. I KNEW I was going to work at Arnold Christian Academy, the school I had gone to from Pre K - 8th grade. I had no doubts whatsoever. 

And then I met the love of my life when I was 17. We got married when I was 20. And when I turned 21 I found out I was pregnant with our first child. Now, I'm not blaming my pregnancy on my decisions. I was making these decisions long before I found out I was pregnant. The truth is, I was married and attending college 2 hours away from where I lived. I was working a lot of hours too. I also hated writing papers. Kind of an important detail when you are in school as an English major. I love books, I love to read, and I love to write. But I HATE writing papers. I was good at it, but I hated it with every fiber of my being. I actually didn't enjoy my English classes nearly as much as I enjoyed my art classes. 

And so, in my Junior year at Towson University, I found myself considering one of two things. Either I was going to change my degree or I was going to finish my degree and then figure out what I was going to do with it. Now, most of you are probably thinking I should have finished my degree. That would have been the wise decision. I already had two years completed so why not. Then at least I didn't have to start over and I would walk away with something. But, God had other plans. You see, it was right before my midterm exams that I found out I was pregnant, and that, more than anything else, made my decision for me. I dropped out of college. I know, I know. Sometimes I cringe thinking about the fact that I am a college drop-out. However, the following months showed me that I did what God had planned. 

A month after my daughter was born, I found a great job at my church. Actually, God had basically shoved me through the doors into that job. I was the new Administrative assistant. However, while I could certainly fill the position, I was definitely not gifted in that particular area. I quickly discovered that I was much better at media design. Over the next seven years, my job slowly shifted in that direction. I did less administrative work and more design work. I fell in love with it. I was designing logos, creating videos, editing booklets and brochures, and much more. This was clearly my niche. 

In 2016 I began a side hustle of wood burning. I did alright considering I did it in my free time. However, I didn't have the time to make anything more of it. But that started the wheels turning in my head. I began to wonder if I could ever make that my full-time job. 

In 2018 we were blessed with our first baby boy and fourth child. It was then that I knew I had to leave my job and be a stay at home mom. For the next year, we prayed and talked about it. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was time for me to leave my job at the church. We spent countless nights trying to make the numbers work in our favor, but we just couldn't. However, at the end of 2019, we finally decided that it was time. God was clearly telling me to leave and we had to trust in Him. So in 2020 the bend in the road finally came, but not quite in the way I had expected.

In January (a lifetime ago) I looked forward to April 2020 when I would be done at the church. I was looking forward to September 2020 when I would have three kids in school full time. I was happily anticipating only having one child at home all day and being able to dedicate my time to making my home happy and comfortable and, hopefully, making my business a successful one. Then 2020 showed her true colors. Oh my...I know I don't have to explain to you what happened. Nothing I was expecting came to pass. I not only didn't leave in April, but I also went from working 30 hours a week to over double that. I didn't get to leave my job until August 2020. And now I get to look forward to trying to grow a successful business and essentially homeschooling three girls while also trying to keep my youngest from breaking any bones or furniture. 

So here we are in August and I am still not sure what is around this very long bend in the road. But I will continue to trust in God and His goodwill.